20 Ways to Scare People in the Computer Lab

1)Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and scream, "Oh my God! They've found me!" and bolt.

2)Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes and then suddenly stop and look suspiciously at everyone who looks at you.

3)When your computer is turned off, complain to the monitor on duty that you can't get the darned thing to work. After he/she's turned it on, wait 5 minutes, turn it off again, and repeat the process for a good half hour.

4)Type frantically, often stopping to look at the person next to you evilly.

5)Before anyone else is in the lab, connect each computer to a different screen than the one it's set up with.

6)Write a program that plays the "Smurfs" theme song and play it at the highest volume possible over and over again.

7)Work normally for awhile. Suddenly look amazingly startled by something on the screen and crawl underneath the desk.

8)Ask the person next to you if they know how to tap into top- secret Pentagon files.

9)Make a small ritual sacrifice to the computer before you turn it on.

10)Bring a chainsaw, but don't use it. If anyone asks why you have it, say "Just in case..." mysteriously.

11)Type on VAX for awhile. Suddenly start cursing for 3 minutes about everything bad about your life. Then stop and continue typing.

12)Every time you press return and there is processing time required, pray "Ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease," and scream "YES!" when it finishes.

13)Try to stick a Nintendo cartridge in the 3.5 disk drive. When it doesn't work, get the supervisor.

14)Print out the complete works of Shakespeare, then when it's all done (two days later) say that all you wanted was one line.

15)Put a large, gold-framed portrait of the British royal family on your desk and loudly proclaim that it inspires you.

16)Laugh hysterically, shout "You will all perish in flames!!!" and continue working.

17)Attempt to eat your computer's mouse.

18)Borrow someone else's keyboard by reaching over, saying "Excuse me, mind if I borrow this for a sec?", unplugging the keyboard, and taking it.

19)Keep looking at invisible bugs and trying to swat them.

20)Run into the computer lab, shout "Armageddon is here!!!!!", then calmly sit down and begin to type.